mimitchigotchi | Autistic, Introverted and frustrated.

I need to not only be left in my room 24/7 without being interacted with the majority of the time, but also time where I'm home totally alone to leave my room and do things that I'd like to do like cook or even just feel comfortable enough to open my door for air.

I'm an introvert and on top of that I have autism. I don't want to interact with anyone unless I'm ready.

I usually have my one safe person that I'll allow in my space for an extended period of time. Even then, I need a little alone time to recharge now and then.

Having a loud and obnoxious kind of person living with me like my mom before or my boyfriend's mom is NOT easy for me. People telling me that it's not that bad and that I'm making my own problems isn't helpful in the slightest.

My brain is wired differently as a neurodivergent person. I may WANT to be normal and not be bothered by things, but that requires rewiring how I think entirely and it's not easy as just changing my mind or ignoring things that bother me and carrying on.

So, when I say it's a living hell for me to live with certain people, it literally is for me. Especially when they have different morals or don't take care of themselves and expect me to pick up the slack when I'm barely qualified to take care of myself.

Like, literally. I'm just independent enough to not be thrown into a group home. I can't deal with taking care of anybody else's crap.

My boyfriend, some freaking way, despite his problems is my safe person. Maybe he's the only person I can be full blown autistic around. I don't know.

I wish he had a job. I need to get away from people that I'm extremely restrictive of myself around. I can't be myself. I just can't. I have to lock up so I'm not weird all over the place and self conscious or triggered or start getting all nervous and stimming and dropping dishes or accidently muttering to myself cause I'm trying to think so hard about what I'm doing.

My brain isn't normal. I feel like I'm literally insane.