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Jul. 3rd, 2025
List of people living with my mom:
(Mom of course)
Brother
Sis-in-Law
Nephew G
Nephew C
(Keeping names private.)
Now, the story.
My brother and Sis-in-Law had their rental home sold out from under them. I think it's called a duplex. There were two families in one building with an upstairs and downstairs that weren't connected.
Due to money issues they are moving in with my mom to get back on their feet. I already knew this would suck. It's most def temporary. My mom is basically my sis-in-law's mom-in-lawzilla. She's my brother's momzilla. She's my two nephew's grandmazilla. It's awful. I remember how awful it was living with that momzilla. It's a mess!
I guess I don't want to make the post huge with details right now...
Listening to my sis-in-law vent to me literally gives me anxiety. I'm there for her. But I've also been traumatized so thinking on the past and all the reminders are so exhausting.
Now, new territory...
I have been being treated for PTSD including derealization, depersonalization, and disassociative identity disorder. It's really difficult. I have different compartmentalized 'alters' or 'identities' that can make things difficult.
I'll introduce:
Nyu - The child. She chimes in my head sometimes as an audible voice. (I do not have my own inner monologue and I have aphantasia actually.) She loves animals and coloring or drawing. Most of the time I can back seat and have her pilot to doodle and play with stuffies and remember her actions. She has had one on one with my therapist though and I was 'asleep' for lack of better words. I think she wants to be heard but doesn't have trusting people to really play or color with.
cinna - A rather new alter comparatively. Very right wing and conservative. She's pretty politically incorrect, a troll at times, and mostly swaps in to read the news. I'm quite liberal so she gets on my nerves. I may or may not notice her taking face so sometimes I have memory chunks gone. I'm pretty sure she's most active at night and I get bad 'sleep' due to that and have no recollection of her other than things in places that shouldn't be and sometimes I get notes from her in my notebook. (Part of my therapy to encourage my alters to communicate.)
YUKI: A male alter. Very aggressive. He hates when guys treat women like garbage. He also has interest in quantum physics and thought experiments. I can't back seat him. He's a total take over. He doesn't write in my notebook as much as Nyu and cinna.
That's all for now.
(Mom of course)
Brother
Sis-in-Law
Nephew G
Nephew C
(Keeping names private.)
Now, the story.
My brother and Sis-in-Law had their rental home sold out from under them. I think it's called a duplex. There were two families in one building with an upstairs and downstairs that weren't connected.
Due to money issues they are moving in with my mom to get back on their feet. I already knew this would suck. It's most def temporary. My mom is basically my sis-in-law's mom-in-lawzilla. She's my brother's momzilla. She's my two nephew's grandmazilla. It's awful. I remember how awful it was living with that momzilla. It's a mess!
I guess I don't want to make the post huge with details right now...
Listening to my sis-in-law vent to me literally gives me anxiety. I'm there for her. But I've also been traumatized so thinking on the past and all the reminders are so exhausting.
Now, new territory...
I have been being treated for PTSD including derealization, depersonalization, and disassociative identity disorder. It's really difficult. I have different compartmentalized 'alters' or 'identities' that can make things difficult.
I'll introduce:
Nyu - The child. She chimes in my head sometimes as an audible voice. (I do not have my own inner monologue and I have aphantasia actually.) She loves animals and coloring or drawing. Most of the time I can back seat and have her pilot to doodle and play with stuffies and remember her actions. She has had one on one with my therapist though and I was 'asleep' for lack of better words. I think she wants to be heard but doesn't have trusting people to really play or color with.
cinna - A rather new alter comparatively. Very right wing and conservative. She's pretty politically incorrect, a troll at times, and mostly swaps in to read the news. I'm quite liberal so she gets on my nerves. I may or may not notice her taking face so sometimes I have memory chunks gone. I'm pretty sure she's most active at night and I get bad 'sleep' due to that and have no recollection of her other than things in places that shouldn't be and sometimes I get notes from her in my notebook. (Part of my therapy to encourage my alters to communicate.)
YUKI: A male alter. Very aggressive. He hates when guys treat women like garbage. He also has interest in quantum physics and thought experiments. I can't back seat him. He's a total take over. He doesn't write in my notebook as much as Nyu and cinna.
That's all for now.
