The Endless Quest for Happiness

Now I need to learn how to use this keyboard in my tablet...?

I finally go 1K subs in my YouTube for gaming and my art.

I'm very happy.

Also my weight loss surgery didn't get cleared due to my mental health.  I guess they think that I am a literal child. Maybe... 

My tummy hurts.

I want to continue the Fallout 76 main quest but I don't understand builds. I want to be a commando that can solo the game when need be. But I dunno how to do my card perk thingies. I keep looking for a guide but I can't find one that I understand. I'm so... bad at reading the instructions. They are written as if I know more than I do. *Sigh* Being ignorant to practically the entire game sucks.

Also, aliens can suck on a rotten egg in that game.

The learning curve in game types I don't normally play is just plain difficult for me. I keep playing shooters but reading maps and builds just elude me. I'm used to taking my time learning things but I don't have that luxury when my bf knows everything already and gets in a huff about my being slow.

 
I did this work a few months ago. I used free use assets for it but I drew Yosuke myself. I honestly love assets and various paint brushes that the monthly pay Ibis Paint X has. Worth it.

This guy, Yosuke, is from the game series "Persona". 

I do commissions. They are reasonably affordable. If anyone sees this. XP

Meowdy. I need to read more blogs. I prefer to read small paragraphs... I'm pretty dyslexic. I really hate it. I even write letters out of order often. I know what I mean but derp. And verbally I forget words and I can't really spur of the moment get stuff out a lot.

Sometimes I'm Tarzan and everyone else is freaking Jane. Then on that occasion that I find another Tarzan... we just get it. It's weird that stumbling with others is so easy to understand.

Also, when someone points and says meow I have to guess a few times what they want... but knowing the person well it goes alright. xD Boyfriend. Though tbh he articulates quite well. I tend to write more fluently than speaking.

My mom doesn't understand that texting is so much easier for me. Intimidating people are hard to talk to. Even people I REALLY look up to are sometimes hard to get my drivel out to. Maybe my boyfriend is my animu sempai. LOL

I can be weebish and a straight up dork.... but nope, not anywhere near some LOL cows out there.

On occasion I am cringe on purpose for laughs. I'm luckily not 100 percent oblivious. Somewhat though.

A lot of the time chatting with people online I play dumb cause I either don't want to disagree and start crap or I legit just can't openly say something is cringe to be nice. A Youtuber has to have grace and composure. I mean, there are moments streamers try to avoid (like the Pewdiepie thing) but yeah...

I uphold an image of my catgirl mascot. I tend to meow on accident though when I don't want to. xD I think my fanbase as far as gaming is probably only males about college age that are far from normie. Despite that, they are great.

...

Until they come in my streams asking if I'm a girl and if I'll jump in a bounce house with them... wtf... muted.

Also... I had an hour phone call with Tamatomo today. She's done with social media. Likely a healthy thing... but wow. We chatted and caught up. I never really get to chat with her because mom is home and I feel uncomfortable even breathing or my boyfriend is an attention hog. xP She wants our conversations just us and that is cause he butt in on our talks so much. Now he says to ignore her... I only see him weekends and maybe sporadically throughout the week. So... I kinda get it.

Living with a person really changes dynamic. I hope I can be the trad waifu and learn to cook. And with more space than a tiny room I want to organize better so I can get around to clean. Ofc, in return he'd do the lawn or fix stuff. A bit old fashioned, but that's how we are. This will be MUCH more easy for me than a job since I'm really bad at practically everything. ._.;

I failed job placement. And nowadays after knee surgery and stress hormone keeping weight on that I gained after... eep.

Plus I need my meds to function and me and my boyfriend combined with a job and me losing medicaid cause I have a job and not having my meds then getting back on medicaid again.... yeah, no.

But till he gets a place... all I can spare is 30 percent my income and that won't afford me jack outside of independent living or a section 8 voucher. At least if I give my BF 30 percent my income and if he has a job and we can get a trailer or something it'll be something to look forward to in the future.

He's having issues getting a job. He may be picky with the kind of work restricting himself. Plus the no vehicle thing. He'd need a work vehicle or scheduled around borrowing his oma's vehicle.

The other day, opa mentioned my boyfriend inheriting the house for us to live in... that STILL costs money even if it is paid for. I don't think opa or oma will pass soon. When I was my boyfriend's age, my grandparents passed. But they were also older at that age.

My bf and I just played Fortnite and it broke. Lol. So we decided to play SoulCalibur VI. I had fun actually. A lot of it.

He's coming to my mom's condo to my room (or my apartment practically) for dinner. He's making nachos.

I really wish I could live with him. I really do.