The Endless Quest for Happiness

 




DeviantArt Link: MEOWZERS~!!!!

 

Boy, did I have a crazy dream...

It was a dream within a dream and VERY bizzare.

In the dream, I woke up at Oma and Opa's house. In the dream I KNEW that I was supposed to be in the apartment. I was very disoriented. I was thinking about how maybe my bf's mom being in trouble was all a dream. All of the reality that I was experiencing seemed unreal! 

Then I woke up. I was like, that was intense. I questioned my room momentarily, wondering if I were still at Oma and Opa's.

Then I fell back asleep and had a dream of old ladies giving out random gifts and I got some kinda painted ceramic Christmas thing made for some random person that I didn't know. I figured that it were a thrift find.

Then another dream... I was in a lunchroom, probably school, and my bf was there and also random people. I was across from him but a guy took a seat next to me so I went to sit next to my bf. 

The tossing and turning... lol.

My poor back!!!

Welp. Bf's mom (roomie) has a surety bond of $4,500.

IF she is bailed out by Oma and Opa (her parents) she will likely be tossed in the slammer after her court hearing. So, imo, why pay it?

They called the jail several times to no avail, so Oma and Opa are going there today to see what's up.

This mad woman needs to learn at some point...

I played a bit of Palworld with my bf this morning. Is fun but kinda weird to learn. Definitely not Minecraft blocks or sandbox but still crafting and survival... plus Pokemon kind of animal catching but not the same really either. The pals do more than battle things. I'm considering drawing a pal. Not sure which IF I do. 

I'm super tired. I don't think I've fully recovered from the flu plus now I have a girl bit infection because of antibiotics destroying good bacteria. I'm too sensitive to over the counter cream. I've been suffering a week with this issue. The doctor wouldn't prescribe me anything for it and I have to go see him Friday. By then it'll definitely be not so spiffy. 

I'm trying to keep drinking water. 

I have been having pelvic cramps. Maybe related to the infection. 

Why can't my bf's mom throw out her nasty tampon trash instead of shoving it back in the empty box and putting it on the bathroom shelf? No offense but I don't want to touch that. Plus she could wipe her blood off the floor and not smear it on the toilet seat half ass cleaning it.

I have an awful cold. My bf caught it from me. Maybe it's the flu. It's been going around and my family is currently sick with it. I might have caught it from my mom. My symptoms are the same as my brother entirely. He's too stubborn to see a doctor but his kids and my SIL have the flu diagnosed. My mom didn't get checked officially either but she has been feeling like poop.

I hope that my bf's mom doesn't get sick. That would put her behind in her job and earnings which already isn't enough somehow... I think the mini Fireball shots that she is downing and getting drunk within 30 minutes after work are potentially expensive... I would assume. I never looked into it.

*sigh* 🙄 I love when people jump to conclusions and invent scenarios instead of accepting silence as the unknown. I have done that before to some degree but some people put it on a whole new level. At some point silence is better than explaining to certain types of people. It's either that they make things from silence or twist what's said.

At least I'm not in a group home, homeless, or have nobody who cares.

Also, if a person is faking medical diagnosis to get free SSI, they won't get far. Not only would that jeopardize a provider's clinical license but the person will eventually get caught being a fraud through some kind of testing or diagnostics.

My biggest pipe dream is to be 💯 percent self sufficient and only choose who I want around me. I have to make do with what I can though.

I had a weird dream that I saw Chris Chan in the flesh, the creator of Sonichu, at a local Walmart. There were two guys there picking on him from Kiwi Farms forums that recognized him. I have zero idea how I knew they were from Kiwi Farms. For some reason I was super autistic about being but fan to the point even Chris Chan wanted away from me. (I would say I'm more intrigued by his story than a fan???) I've never even read Sonichu. I've only seen videos on YouTube about him. Anyways, in the dream I was so autistic about things that I became a lolcow. Wtf. I'm not THAT cringe... I think. It was just a weird dream. 

Maybe my boyfriend had Chris Chan YouTube videos running while we were sleeping again. I've had dreams about Rick and Morty, SpongeBob, and alternate what if history and woke up to that stuff on TV. 

I stress myself out? Maybe to a degree but if someone knows a thing is gonna upset someone it probably shouldn't be said. I am having trouble healing trauma. Triggering my PTSD and blaming me isn't helping the situation. I know it's in my head. I'm trying to cope. How I react is on me. But I feel attacked and if it's gonna hurt me leave it unsaid. Deep psychological trauma takes time to heal from. Feeling attacked isn't rushing the healing at all.